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We pray for good weather

Premium post · February 13, 2025

One of the less-discussed things about me is that I am good at refreshing for tickets. I have a wireline fiber connection, I am fast at computers, I keep a...

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How to buy paint online

February 11, 2025

You bought a hole and created, then deleted, another hole, and now you must paint over the deleted hole in order to make it look like the rest of its wall....

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Sometimes you have a busy enough week that you list good objects and call it text

Premium post · February 7, 2025

Spiritually related to our text from the other day, here’s a brief list of some things that I’ve used a lot and have, despite this, lasted in a way that...

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Surviving (annoying v. apocalypse)

February 5, 2025

Two fun things I’ve read lately are Survive the Tyrant! and the CIA’s guide for citizen sabotage of fascist regimes, which are spiritually related but quite...

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One frame of a Detroit Tigers outfielder completely upside-down, vaulting over a bullpen wall, as a cop rejoices instead of helping

Premium post · February 3, 2025

The problem with knowing a lot of people and being known for good parties is that, when you throw a big one, it is sometimes an overwhelming & terrible...

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Hole store

January 30, 2025

I bought a hole recently. We have already discussed the range, which is so high-powered that it needed a commercial-grade hood to ventilate the thing. So I...

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Meaning v. practice

Premium post · January 28, 2025

The tagline for text is a durable canon of wonder. Given the current apocalypse, how does one embrace wonder while not giving into corrosive “good vibes...

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We need to become literate with software

January 24, 2025

In my first book, I talked a little about how people parse technology. Fifteen years later, I think people still pay attention to technology, but they do so...

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Hidden

Premium post · January 22, 2025

There are no secrets anymore. Everything is on every travel platform. Post about it, it’ll pop off. The convenience this affords also creates sameness....

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Five paragraph essay (is it useful?)

January 14, 2025

I’ve been heads-down on a bigger project that is just beginning. There are good bones to it, but it needs work, the kind of work where other people poke at...

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J1B-GT, one year

Premium post · January 8, 2025

We now return to the jacket. I promised this after one year. It has been one year and one week. The jacket is not a year old. It is two days old. It is two...

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Home range

January 6, 2025

By my senior year of college, I hated dining hall food, resented the expense of eating out, and loved food in general, and so wanted to learn how to cook....

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Make a sudden, destructive unpredictable action; incorporate

December 19, 2024

We will now enter two weeks of deep rest, but first, per tradition: 2024’s Oblique Strategies power ranking. (Previously: 2022, 2023.) 10. Do something...

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An apocalypse-proof boiling frog

December 17, 2024

We have talked a lot about buying the object, but not enough about tossing it. I tossed a bunch of objects over the past month, and text needs to occur about...

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The Brand and not The Brand

Premium post · December 10, 2024

There is a category, within the category are a bunch of brands, and one of them is The Brand. You know some examples of The Brand. The Brand is overpriced to...

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Yeast tamagotchi

December 6, 2024

You’re handed the starter by someone who later confesses to being antivax, is called in, then called out, then banned. Presumably there are no viruses in the...

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Fruit salad stimulant, as a treat

Premium post · December 2, 2024

So when you make coffee, you start with a cherry, remove the pit, end up with a green bean, and then ship that to a roaster. Between the removal of the...

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Dopp, again

November 26, 2024

The human I’m dating has begun following these, and someone else just signed up because of a post I wrote 400 years ago about my dopp kit. Materially...

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How to do nothing

Premium post · November 22, 2024

I’ve been spending the past couple of weeks protecting my field. This has involved removing something like 9/10 of the contacts from my phone, going...

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The sun blinked

November 15, 2024

Last year, I wrote some text about Shohei Ohtani. I tried to make it clear why this person is important, and why sports’ general penchant for hyperbole is,...

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