Blue tote parrot

I’m sitting next to a blue canvas tote. I’m going to try and describe it now.

The tote is overcompensatory, ruggedized but twee, too heavy and somehow not heavy enough. No fewer than twelve rivets hold up two leather handles, so thick and rigid that they stand on their own accord, folded and stitched with fisherman’s twine.

The handles are the most common carry method, but a shoulder strap also exists, made of the same leather, joined by a couple of D-rings, swaying too much, too narrow to really distribute weight well. The shoulder strap exists to tell you, on a rack, that this bag feels like it should be fully conceptually sound. It is not. The blue tote is simultaneously enough and too much. As if to underscore this point, a second pair of D-rings will always sit unused.

Full-width button-close side pockets point in every cardinal direction, presumably for water bottles & flower bouquets. Two central pockets help you stash things that need stashing. You forget how many pockets are in this thing until you count them for text.