Literally tens of thousands of people have been clamoring for a baseball update, and like look, I don’t know what to tell you, my team is bad and they’re super not supposed to be. We hired a fancy manager and signed our big star player for another year, and got a bunch of other players who are mostly now kind of better than him, and then we lost 28 games by 1 single run as of press time. If we had won half of those games, we would be dominating our division to such a degree that I would be pasting the “stop, stop, he’s already dead” meme to my group texts six nights a week, dunking on the Brewers, trying to pretend to be sad about Christian Yelich’s injury in order to determine what Brewers empathy would be like for a change. Instead, I am doing a normal thing in response, which is that I am rooting for the Orioles & Padres. This is sensible, a thing that rational people do when presented with a burning world where nothing makes sense.