One tote

Tote bags meant well, didn’t they? Positioned as an eco-friendly alternative to one-time-use bags, we all grabbed one and headed to the market. Then we somehow ended up with 15 more, because tote bags reproduce by sporing, and now we all have too many tote bags, and also we only use the one tote bag that we want to signify to others.

The correct number of tote bags for any one person to own is one. This is not controversial. It is a perfect statement. Due to its perfection, you find yourself agreeing with it.

In practice, this means two things:

1. There are so many tote bags in the universe that nothing less than utter perfection can be tolerated in one.
2. We’re going to end up rolling through a lot of perfectly good tote bags. Throwing away barely-used durable objects is eco-friendly, right?