This isn’t about barf, but all of you will think it is

My friends keep having people over and they are freaking out about it. They haven’t done this in 3 years, they say, or they haven’t done it at all, or they only do it once a year, etc. How do you do it, they ask.

I have people over several times a month because it is the only thing I know how to do. Beyond that, people are usually in the space. More than 20 people have keys to my house. People buy houses that are close to me because they are close to me. The night before I wrote this text, I came home to a friend of mine taking care of the dog, because I was out all day and needed someone to.

The first step is to breathe. You will be fine. It will be fine. Billions of humans have hosted others in the past, and they have all lived to tell the tale. Keep coming back to the breath and remember that people will pay attention to very little but the vibes you put out. If you’re stressed and miserable, it will show, and they will not have a good time. Keep breathing.

Hosting is about letting go of control. We want to control everything that happens, hold our friends like they are our children, make sure every element of their experience is good. But this is folly. You will barely control anything. For larger gatherings (over 3 people?), you will barely understand what’s going on. You are, in most cases, creating a loose framework for gathering & flourishing, not some sort of ultra-structured activity.