What to do when your flight is eternally delayed
You know the rain will pass because you have a radar app, but it’s going to take five and a half hours, so your flight is delayed by five and a half hours, and you have nothing to do. Still, you vigilantly show at the airport on “time,” because anything can happen. You have watched flights be “delayed” and then instantly board. You have watched flights board silently, without announcement, with great haste, in the departure lounge. God is dead, has died, his body is right there, and yet you walk through TSA at 12:30p, crossing the stupid rubicon like a good boy.
You are trapped but free, in liminal space, doing whatever. Pray the airport has some stupid crap to look at. Nobody with taste buys anything in an airport. Maybe there are plants. The best part of O’Hare is the G concourse rotunda, which is a place nobody goes by design. It is two floors. Go up to the second floor. There is a hydroponic garden, full of herbs that serve the few acceptable restaurants in the terminals you’re not currently sitting in. There are outlets for charging your phone. There are tables. The tethering is good enough. You are surrounded by flight attendants, pilots, sunlight, and library-grade silence.
Follow the flight attendants. They all know where to go, everywhere. They know how to care for themselves when they are just as screwed as you are. Stop one. “Excuse me, do you know where a good place is to relax in this airport?” And they will either look confused (fine, you’ll never see them again, try another time) or they’ll point you to the right place, because we’re all in this together.
Failing that, flee to the lounge. Many lounges have fees to get inside, which is usually worth it because people in the lounge tend to get magically rebooked faster than people anywhere else, regardless of their status with the airline. Other lounges hard-refuse anybody but business class, which fine, life is suffering, we all deal.
And then you stare into a screen. Get some writing done. Finally witness the glorious horizon of inbox zero. Watch a movie. Plan ahead. You’ll need it. And pay attention, because your flight is boarding.